Brian

Great-in-bed-but-sucks-at-life Brian. He has the most amazing mouth from his smile, to the way he kisses, to . . . well, you get the point. If only he knew the power his mouth holds! But alas, he uses that incredible mouth for evil. Like mouthing off to opposing football team fans during a highly contentious game when someone commented about how he was wearing the jersey of a team that wasn't even playing. Or chewing out the restaurant server for not having an iPhone charger that he could use when his phone died in the middle of the meal. How about when I applied lip gloss during our first date and he said, "I don't want that shit all over my face later tonight." Oh wait, that was kinda hot in a cocky-funny way. Back on track. Or smugly telling girls who ask to rub his head (he's bald) that if they don't mean his other head to eff off. Or having a loud meltdown in the middle of the bar about his dog, his job, me, his Xmas plans, how the vodka he likes wasn't being served, his eyebrows . . . need I say more?