Simon

Simon was very very very nice at first, all romance and dinners out and funny texts and emails.
then he'd sometimes do things like introduce me to a girl in his group and then whisper 'i fucked her brains out' to me as she walked away. i asked him not to tell me that stuff and he said 'i was only JOKING, JEEZ'.
he also constantly disappeared during dinners and nights out for 20 minutes at a time. i was so naive that i thought he was constipated. now i realise that he must have had a massive coke problem.
anyway. then he broke up with me. then i grew a brain and when he asked me out again i said no and when he kept calling i got the police to call him and tell him to stop stalking me HAHAHAH.