Ted

Eternally 15 years old. Drinks too much, takes way too many drugs, usually not even bothering to find out what they are. Clothes lie around his room covering every bit of flooring. He hasn’t cleaned his flat in 3 years let alone himself. After 3 years of dating still refused to say hello to my mum and dad, eek (must have been guilt). Always on tour with a band shagging groupies, some of which were other men. Married the girl he cheated on me with and then refused to live under the same roof as her (They are now divorced).

P.s. At least years of drug abuse are starting to take their toll on that beautiful face so there is justice in the world, hurrah!