T*ger

Let me start right now by saying that I am extremely hot. I am at least a 9, probably a 9.5.

I am not the kind of woman who gets cheated on.

Especially not with, oh, I don't know, TEN skanky cocktail waitress types with utterly RIDICULOUS names who blew their way out of Bumfuck, Nebralaska, with the sole aim of 1. finding and 2. banging a wealthy professional sports player.

Do you have any idea just how mind-bendingly endless golf is? Walk. Hit. Walk. Hit. Walk. Putt. Walk. REPEAT.

WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL? But I learned to pretend to care, people. I learned VERY HARD.

Revenge is a dish best served frigid, with a side of pre-nup.

Make sure you give thanks first, with a nine-iron wallop to the back of his head.