THE NAME THAT BASTARD FINALISTS

The Name That Bastard finalists have been chosen.

Please take a look, choose your favourite, and let me
know who it is.

Click here.

(You'll be able to see the bastard immortalised in print in my new book A Girl Like You, out December 2010.)

Dennis

As I was au pairing abroad, my host family desperately wanted me to meet some guys and have some fun. So they gave me the mobile number of a "really nice guy" friend of the family bla bla , motherfucker, whose name is Dennis. Now, I know Dennis isn't exactly a bastard's name, but that's precisely what makes this guy so special. I texted him forced by my host parents and he asked me out probably cause he was begged to do so. He is the typical good looking athlete, tall, tanned, muscular (but not too much), with the eye look of a lovely teddy bear and a bit shy (quality that turns me on). We agreed to meet casually at a bar at 6:00 pm. He came at 9:00 pm. The only reason why stayed that long is cause I was with some friends as well otherwise I wouldn't have obviously waited. He had a lame excuse and apologized and complimented my god "model" looks, so of couursee I thought to myself: oh come on, honest mistake. And so like that, our love nightmare began. He was a fantastic lover and would make me feel like a princess when being with him, but after our wonderful dates he would not call me for two weeks or so, you know, until he probably was horny again. So on and off we lasted six months repeating the game and me like an idiot waiting for his magic calls. On Valentines day I got the house all for myself and I prepared him a lovely romantic dinner. He was supposed to arrive at 7:00, he never came. I was already thinking that his car would be at the side of the rode and he in a hospital so I texted him telling him I couldn't do it anymore, that it was horrible the way he would treat me and he replied quoting "OK". That was it. I did not hear from him ever again.